A guy recently texted me on Instagram. I've never met him in-person, but he lives in the same city as I do and I find his profile interesting enough to follow for a while, before he first texted.
He flirted, we texted on-and-off for about 2 hours, until we're both comfortable enough to want to meet up. I proposed a date, time, and location, and he said yes. Perfect.
A few days later, he texted, "You're not very conversational"
Internally, my mind went ??? and I thought, "I want to have conversations with you, that's why I want to meet up. We already made plans, why do we need to keep chatting over texts? I didn't even know you had that kind of expectation..."
I replied: "Oh I'm just not a very huge texter. I usually prefer to make plans to hang out and chat in person"
Him: "Ok"
Anyways, the meetup didn't happen and as much as texting can bring people who don't know each other together, it makes it very easy to split people apart because it adds a lot of pressure and expectation based on how each person prefers a connection should be maintained over texts.
Texting in the 1980s
In the 1980s, believe it or not, people did not text each other. They meet someone they like, they hang out with them, they don't talk to each other after that, sometimes for weeks until they meet again.
Texting was not at all a factor on whether you were compatible with someone.
Now, it's pretty much a requirement.
Back then, as long as people made plans to meet up, it means they're interested in each other.
Texting in 2024
These days:
- If you are a slow texter, some will think you're not interested.
- If you don't reply at the same intensity all the time, some will think you're not interested.
- If you reply in a way that is too concise, some will think you're not interested.
Of course people have problems dating these days. There are too much expectations on things that don't really matter, blurring away the things that really do.
If I want to meet up with you, it means I am interested.
That should be the real deal—my interest shown in a concrete and a tangible plan so we can really spend time together in each other's presence.
Why so much emphasis on texting all the time?